I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Quick, to the slutcave!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
