is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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