What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
