After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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