I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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