Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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