a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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