Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
