Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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