she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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