feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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