So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
