I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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