im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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