I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
