So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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