It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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