did you get engaged???
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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