That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
honey bunches of taint.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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