When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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