I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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