bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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