It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
