I skipped work to stalk him.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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