just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
3 2 1 whiskey
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
