i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
