just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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