So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
