it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
