i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
