So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
