He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Mom said you looked used
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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