Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize