Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
