Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
