Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
