You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
