why didn't you poke me back
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
