So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
thus making me awesome and them whores
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
