you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
