Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
