soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
