I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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