they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
