Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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