hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
