Everything about him screamed your future.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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