even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
