before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
