She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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