oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
