His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
As shirtless as possible
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
